Deciding if it’s the right time to have sex is difficult for everyone. We put this list of questions on the site from Scarleteen to help you think a little bit more about it so you can make the decision that’s right for you.
If you’re thinking about becoming sexually active, and want to learn more about your body, birth control options, and more, feel free to give us a call. It’s why we’re here!
Questions to ask yourself and your partner about having sex:
- Why do I want to do this?
- Who do I want to do this for?
- What do I expect from sex?
- Am I prepared to handle all aspects of sex?
Sex readiness quiz
If you answer yes to all of these questions, you may be ready. If you don’t, that’s OK. You can be in touch with us to talk through the things you may need to figure out before you decide to have sex.
- I can take full responsibility for my own emotions, expectations, and actions.
- I can separate sex from love, and do not seek to have sex to use it to manipulate myself, my partner, or anyone else.
- I can handle being disappointed, confused or upset.
- I understand that having sex could change my relationship for the better or for the worse, and feel I can handle whatever may happen.
- I feel I can emotionally handle a possible pregnancy, disease or infection, or rejection from my partner.
- I have a member of my family I can talk to about sex, and friends I can go to for emotional support.
- I am able to create limits (to say no when I want to) and I can trust my partner to respect them at all times.
- I can talk to my partner about sex comfortably and honestly, and they can do the same with me.
- I can tell my partner easily what I want sexually and emotionally and when I do and do not like something.
- I can assess what I want for myself, and separate it from what my partner, friends, or family want.
- I able to trust my partner, and am trustworthy myself.
- I have several up-to-date, quality condoms, and both me and my partner know how to use them.
- I have a list of local clinic phone numbers I can call for support (like the Annex Teen Clinic).
- I have a “sex budget” to take care of birth control, safer sex items, and annual testing and sexual health care.
- If pregnancy is a possibility, I have another method of birth control to use along with condoms.
- I understand my own anatomy and my partner’s anatomy, as well as the basics of intercourse, human reproduction, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
- I can relax during sexual experiences without fear, anxiety, or shame.
- I have had regular doctor check-ups, infection testing, and am in good health, and I know these things to be true about my partner.
Having sex will not necessarily do any of the following for you:
- Guarantee a longer or closer relationship
- Give you an orgasm or mind-blowing pleasure
- Feel great the first time
- Give you status with your friends
- Make you more mature, grown-up, or a “real” man or woman